The Tribe of Amalfia – Michael Calkins

“‘The Tribe of Amalfia welcomes all shifters in the central Ohio area to an evening of community and sensuality.’ What a load of crap. I mean, I been here three hours now and I ain’t had one second of sensuality. And the only community I had is talking to you, no offense. It’s been real nice to meet you.”

“I’m pretty new to the area and I been starting to feel pretty horny, so I thought this would be a great chance to meet some others like us and maybe get laid. I mean, back where I come from all the shifters I knew were always looking to get some, you know.”

“Billings. In Montana. There weren’t a lot in town. Most of them spent their time living in the woods, you know, literally like animals. But they’d get jonesing for some beer or weed and they’d come in town and we’d get together. It was always a wild time. You had to really try not to get your rocks off. I always liked to do it full wild. It just don’t feel as good when I’m hybrid for some reason.”

“Oh, sorry. Panther. Long and sleek. The ladies go nuts. Even if they don’t want to fuck they can’t keep their hands off the fur. And you’re, what, a deer?”

“Elk, sorry. You’d think I’d know better. Can’t say I’ve ever been with a deer, or elk, or whatever. Kinda strange, given where I’m from. Course, I think all of them I ever saw was dudes and I just ain’t into doing it with dudes. Not that I got a problem if that’s what others like. To each his damn own, I say.”

“I ain’t had any tonight, to answer your question, because of a certain red fox who can’t keep her mouth shut. See, I said I didn’t know anybody in the area, but it turns out I met this red fox back in Billings and she’s here tonight. And she must have seen me before I saw her and she’s been going around talking shit about me to all the ladies. And thanks to that I couldn’t get any of them to get with me.”

“No, I don’t mind telling you. It’s no big deal, but she’s making it one. See, we only did it once and I guess she didn’t like it too much ‘cause, well, cats have got barbs on their dicks.”

“Jeezus, man, what are you making that face for? We don’t got spikes on there. Just barbs. They ain’t sharp or nothing. They’re just these firm little bumps. For extra stimulation. I mean, if cat dicks was tearing up the insides of cat pussies cats would just go extinct, you know. And I know not everybody I been with has liked it, but this red bitch is going around making it sound like my dick’s gonna get caught on their cervix or something. Everybody’s been avoiding me, ‘cept George.”

“He’s the chimp over there. Talking to the red fox, as a matter of fact. He come up to me talking about how he just heard about what cats are like and well …. Only like I said before, I ain’t interested in dudes that way. And look at that. They’re making out. What the fuck? What’s the point? I mean, how hard can it be to find a short, bald, hairy-backed old man to fuck?”

“Thanks, man, but it ain’t worth staying for another beer. I’m just gonna go. There’s a group of Furries that get together once a month at the airport Ramada. If I go in hybrid form I can pass good enough to get in tonight. I don’t love going hybrid, but there’s a cute gray squirrel I’ve seen there that I’d like to know better.”

“You have a good night.”

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