THE GOLDEN BUREAUCRAT, to this day, has saved 1,423 lives. What is the count for other heroes? We do not know. But we know how many deaths they have caused.
Black Widow: 48
Captain America: 14,098
But THE GOLDEN BUREAUCRAT is an inverted hero. His secret identity does the heroism, all on the thirty-fourth floor. In his black second-hand suit, in his cubicle, he calls them up on the phone. He is a debt collector, but reminds every caller that all is not lost, that he appreciates their business, and that it is a beautiful day.
Only at home and off duty does he regain his true identity: THE GOLDEN BUREAUCRAT. He turns off the lights and reveals in the darkness his superman suit of crimson with brilliantly bright golden gloves, outside undies and unsurpassable goggles. It is finally, as he buttons the golden cape at his shoulders, that he takes from the freezer a gallon of Cherry Garcia, which he eats to completion and weeps at his life as a government employee.
Shining like lamplight in the dim black apartment, every morning he slips on his black suit and takes the city bus back to the office.
Bob Selcrosse grew up with his mother, selling books, in the Pacific Northwest. He is now working on a book about a book. It is based in the Pacific Northwest. The book is The Cabinet of Children.