Limb-ericks – Mickey Collins

Eyepatch

I have a lack of sight

Upon my eye of right

My lass knows this

So on my left she’ll kiss

Her lover just out of spite

 

Peg Leg

There once was a captain named Stark

Though Eileen was her nom de lark

She limped, she waddled

Cause in the sea she paddled

With a great white shark in the dark

 

Hook

It’s not easy having a hook for a hand

And getting kicked out of your ska band

Though songs I did write

The notes were a fright

And so I was left in neck-deep in the sand

 

Shore leave

Perhaps the sailor wouldn’t be so mean

If it weren’t for when he was a teen

He lost his big toe

Cause his sweat beau

Swore up and down she was clean

 

Gangrene

It’s a bit of a misnomer

This disease affecting sea-roamers

Your skin’ll turn black

From a traumatic attack

Not quite as poetic as Homer

 

Scurvy

I’m losing my teeth, molars then canines

Awful’s the sight, futile’s the dine

My smile got many gaps

Could you perhaps

Spare some fruit, just one lime?

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