By day I spend my time like any regular human would. I have a dead-end job (that makes me feel so normal), a small apartment and I might be able to adopt a cat if I can manage not to…anyway, by night I sing at a local bar. It’s such a rush. Nowhere near the rush of feeding but it helps. I’ve tried everything: cows, horses, sheep. Nothing works. Nothing is as good as people taste. I have to admit, I go to this little rinky-dink bar to feed. I don’t do it a lot, just enough. I figure no one is going to miss the men that spend hours there.
There’s one guy that came in. He was different. Different than the old lowlifes that came in. I had never seen him before. He looked…nice. That night, after I was walking off the stage, he approached me. It startled me at first but I had to quickly remind myself to act human. I turned around quickly, “Can I help you?” That had sounded nicer in my head. “I just wanted to tell you, you sounded really good.” He smiled at me. “Thank you, my name’s Layla by the way.” I stuck out my hand like any normal human would. “Hey, I’m David, nice to meet you. Wanna grab a drink?” He smelled so nice. A mix of pine and a certain scent I just can’t put my finger on. My stomach growled. “A drink sounds great.”
We talked for hours. Or rather he talked and I listened. I try not to talk too much about my personal life. What would I even say? ‘Hi, I’m Layla and I suck brain fluid out of humans. Nice to meet you, potential dinner!’ Yeah, real romantic. David told me what he was doing in such a small town. He said he was on a job. It sounded like he couldn’t say much so I didn’t push. However, that did make me suspicious. I’ve heard from other…creatures, that there are hunters that have been making their way through the country offing monsters. That’s the last thing I need, some burly dude coming through and killing me while I’m trying to live a normal life. In the meantime, I was going to enjoy the life I chose with this handsome stranger.
David asked if I wanted to go back to his hotel room. I had never done such a thing but I figured that’s what people do, so let’s try it. We arrived and well, I won’t go into details but I had never experienced anything like it before. Feeding is one thing, but sex is a whole new ball game. Afterwards, he fell asleep and I couldn’t help myself. He just smelled so good and looked so beautiful, I had an itch that needed to be scratched. I didn’t take much, just enough to get a taste. Nothing to damage him to the point of no return. It felt so good. I felt whole again. After my midnight snack I fell asleep alongside him.
The next morning he woke up before me. I had overslept. I wanted to get out before he had woken. I don’t want to make a habit out of sleeping with humans but I suppose it’s a part of their lifestyle. He tried getting me to eat some stale doughnuts and coffee he got at the diner down the street. The smell alone made me gag. I ran out of his room almost as fast as it took for me to get into his pants. Once I got back home I hoped I wouldn’t run into him again. I started remembering some scars he had on his chest. Most human males don’t have that many scars, right? I started becoming more paranoid as the day went on. I decided to slow down on my feeding until I knew David was out of town. That night I went back to the bar to perform again, hoping to get that rush once more. As I opened the door I saw him talking to the bartender, Bill. David saw me and flashed a quick smile. I just nodded at him and went to the stage to set up. Do I talk to him? Is it more suspicious if I don’t? I was trying to hear what he was asking Bill about but it was hard to hear over the music playing from the jukebox. It looked like he was questioning Bill, which wasn’t a good sign.
After my set was done I started packing up my things. David came over to me. “Last night was fun.” Such a romantic. “Uh, yeah. You seemed to have a good time,” I chuckled. “Well, you wanna do that again sometime? Maybe, oh I don’t know, 20 minutes?” I scoffed and replied, “Wow you come on strong, don’t you?” “You should know.” He laughed as I rolled my eyes. My stomach flipped when I caught a whiff of his piney scent. “Ya know what, why not?” His eyes were about to pop out of that juicy head of his.
So, once again I went to his hotel room and we had an incredible time. As I laid there, staring at his chest rising and falling, I couldn’t help but trace my fingers over his scars. My heart pounded out of excitement, or maybe it was nervousness. Is this what love feels like? I wanted to just lay there for hours and watch him sleep. I got closer to him and well, I’m ashamed to say the least. I told myself I would stop but something about him, I just can’t help myself. I’ve been so used to feeding off of those dirty old men at the bar. David is just so different. He’s charming and strong. I could easily see us spending the rest of our lives together if it weren’t for…me.
Nights go by and I try my best to control my urges. Some nights are better than others. Some nights he won’t stop calling and others he ravages my body and I ruin any chance of us becoming more than just monster and monster’s dinner. I tried going back to the bar. The lowlifes. They taste disgusting to me now. I was in the back alley behind the bar and this scruffy old man I was feeding on wouldn’t shut up. I was getting loud too and I’m afraid someone might have heard us. I’m getting sloppy. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I threw my fists at David’s hotel door. I know he heard me. I saw him outside the bar when I was going back inside that night. I told him the old man hurt me, that he was trying to touch me. David wasn’t buying it. He said, “The man was yelling for help, why would he be calling for help?” He kept repeating that question over and over. I left before it got out of hand. I just had to go back, didn’t I?
David said it’s unnatural to love something like me. Some thing.
I felt a jolt of pain go through my chest, the back of my neck felt cold while my face was burning. I launched myself towards him and we fell to the floor. I took him by surprise and was able to over-power him. We tossed and turned but this time it wasn’t the act of love that started it. We were struggling for awhile, me straddling his chest; I grabbed a lamp off the bedside table and hit him over the head with it. He was knocked unconscious and as his limp body laid on the hotel floor I realized that I’ll never change. I’ll always be a monster.
HANNAH: Bookseller by moonlight, photographer and comic book reader by daylight.
You can find her photos on Instagram @hellokittenface.