I dreamed of being a fisherwoman – Ariel Kusby

when I was a girl I dreamed of being a fisherwoman

of casting deep nets like spells      pulling up condensations of blue

at swim team my flip turns were fastest         always forgetting

to breathe first         after practice I’d pull off my cap and sink        

grew out my hair long      for this moment only       for the fanning out   

in dreams I’d breast stroke         across the channel in a cage

sometimes I was a shark        eventually reaching land      

becoming sea foam     always afraid of missing out      on something bluer

there are whole nights             I spend in the tub    

gestating in a porcelain whale’s womb  it doesn’t matter

what holds the water               as long as the water holds me

I extend this allowance to velvet                  to lapis       

and to my own blood        which fills my skin just right     

a red tide perfectly timed         the best I can do

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