Synopsis
A series of attempts made by a now defunct
Book club to break off an engagement
Before it happens what starts off as bad
Advice given at a New Years Eve party
Turns into a comedy of errors when an
Alcoholic poet recruits estranged frenemies
And former roommates alike while touring
A closing light exhibit at the local zoo
But who the hell would have expected a yes
To a proposal at the nail salon?! the last
Shot the poet has to end the engagement
Comes in the form of a sabotaged seance
But does RJ have the guts to tilt the spirit
Board’s response to undo the mess he made?
Act I
How did you know? the architect asked
Midway through flute at the midnight party
Passing around dressings of gold leaves &
Honey the poet spoke about nail polish
Colors like sleeping spoon & tambourine tan
This is how I knew they were the one: Agony
Was all the time that we were not married
The only solution was a remedy by law
Or the gathering of dancers & bartenders
United under a buckeye tree to surrender
To no foreseeable limit the extent of tender
Reciprocated settings of simultaneous suns
My Evil Twin stepped out of balance played
Music from long drives into long headlights
Act II
The elephant’s name was Bird of Paradise
Which meant you’re never going to believe
Who is marrying The poet & the dancer
The river townsfolk rumored on w/ stories
From grandfather walrus & uncle polo who
Also can’t drink like their inner pirates surely
But that wasn’t the end of it & the heavy bale
That held up the straw for the pack to eat
Mid afternoon flew away an hour early &
Where did he ask the proverbial question?
Don’t tell me it was as bad as the salon?
That wasn’t the point the point was eagles
Know how to sext too & immediately post
Coitus probably wasn’t the classiest either
Act III
Digging in nail beds at the yuppie salon
Where rockabilly sober [or at least sober
In theory!] gentlethems sling acrylic Miro
Reproductions on thirsty himbos from
Down the block who know a thing or two
About the Russian Avant Garde & yes!
We have club cards but listen I know we
Think weddings are more than enjambment
Six nail techs file down at the same time
Listen to what the poet says not the alcoholic
The poet who pinches sleep from eyelashes
Fourteen years is a lot of work he says
We haven’t felt it all at once though bc we
Share the rocks we carry from the river
Intermission
Brought to you by your friends at Fingerbang!
Your local beauty bar where martini & mani
Round up to a hundred real easily a really
Good reason to stay sober bc it’s always
Been money for alcohol but now you can
Treat yo self! which sounds nuts bc when
Haven’t you treated yourself? you’re about
That got to get the fingers sticky while the
Honey’s good but newsflash: swapping an
Addiction out for a reward gets old after
The seventh acrylic fill plus you’re gonna
Need to do the dishes eventually or someone
Might notice that you actually don’t enjoy
The way they scrape the back of your throat
Act IV
Back behind the scenes piles of books
Litter the production areas & one by one
The poet & the baker & the chemist &
The singer & the illustrator resurrect dead
Pages from Persephone’s marble bedside
Fairy godparents to long neglected choruses
Of borrowed religions plus another 12 steps
All great surveyors of honest conversation
So the poet thinks he can outmaneuver
Every choice he’s already made w/ regret
But not this time: RJ for once listen to yourself
No one blames you for trying to fix things
In ways only you could see as reasonable
Invite them over! bring out the spirit board!
Act V
Before my inevitable apology I need to say
My parents didn’t lock me in a box but
Sometimes a real bad metaphor becomes
A real locked car on a late summer’s day
And when I knocked the shot glass away
From my Evil Twin’s hand I knew we had
Made the right choice & ended that agony
Fourteen years before but not before plays
Ended the same way the elephant reached
Up for the out of reach straw even though
She had no reason to reach in the first place
The poet folded the board it’s a wash
The way he continues to compare wishes
Well how did you know? Always first things
RJ Equality Ingram is a poet from Vermilion, Ohio who lives in Portland, Oregon & works as a bookseller for Goodwill Industries of the Columbia Willamette. RJ Received his MFA in creative writing with concentrations in poetry & creative nonfiction from Saint Mary’s College of California & has work published in White Stag, Pinwheel Journal, Alice Blue Review, Dreginald as well as others. RJ’s cat Brenda lost a leg in an RSVP to the prince’s ball. Follow @RJEquality