On:

When Grief moved in the only room The Dandies had available was the space under the roll top secretary that skipped generations just to live in the basement / An entire paycheck pushed the desk from one unfinished basement right into another & if it were up to Grief inContinue Reading

On:

The best friend a person has … is one who has just died.-Colonel Aureliano BuendíaThe Dandies used unflavored sparkling water to wash shaving cream from the bay window / They used a rhinestone encrusted seltzer siphon from a forgotten vaudeville act that closed long before prohibition & whistled show tunesContinue Reading

On:

The Dandies dream of velvet top hats & monocles dangling from golden chains with their hands stuffed in their pockets & piles of candy wrappers on their bedside tables / Pocket watches unwind themselves inside the forest of waistcoats that line their walk-in closet / The chairwoman of the decorationContinue Reading

On:

The Dandies’ first Christmas in Peacock Lane was the year the decorations came to life / The elves were the first to turn against their homes & scale attached garages & chain linked fences / They chanted dark poetry from the wires around their mouths / Reindeer who used toContinue Reading

On:

The Dandies bought the house from a nice goth couple who just couldn’t with Mrs. Peacock Lane / Her campaign against them also began on move-in day & they both worked so hard at keeping up their own appearances the decoration subcommittee took advantage of their missing cats to poisonContinue Reading

On:

Cats abandoned Peacock Lane generations ago / There have been many attempts to re-introduce cats to the neighborhood & they always agree to leave / The HOA meets every Fifth Friday at a subcommittee chairperson’s house & is expected to be fed & watered with seasonal fruit & watercress sandwichesContinue Reading

On:

She was a delight at her school dances but an absolute terror at the salad bar / She cleaned & reupholstered her designer handbags every weekend & spent her husband’s money on shutting down fundraisers for causes she couldn’t understand / Her hair was always out of fashion but framedContinue Reading

On:

The Dandies almost ran a clean campaign against the chairwoman of the decoration subcommittee / They handed out red white & blue roses with little life hacks written around the stems like spells / Carry a pinch of salt in your back pocket for good luck & say aloud theContinue Reading

On:

Gosh what a couple of egg heads those Goths were / A real match forged in cartoonish annihilation / They were the talk of the neighborhood for the better part of the season & shook all the pine needles down to weave baskets for their Chinese-crested named Thing / ThenContinue Reading

On:

Dandies moved into Peacock Lane & put a sexy leg lamp in their postage stamp bay window / The HOA was pissed but could hardly do a thing to stop gentlethems from erecting sexuality like a lacy middle finger / The chairwoman of the decoration subcommittee made salted pistachio brittleContinue Reading