RJ Equality Ingram

She was a delight at her school dances but an absolute terror at the salad bar / She cleaned & reupholstered her designer handbags every weekend & spent her husband’s money on shutting down fundraisers for causes she couldn’t understand / Her hair was always out of fashion but framedContinue Reading

The Dandies almost ran a clean campaign against the chairwoman of the decoration subcommittee / They handed out red white & blue roses with little life hacks written around the stems like spells / Carry a pinch of salt in your back pocket for good luck & say aloud theContinue Reading

Gosh what a couple of egg heads those Goths were / A real match forged in cartoonish annihilation / They were the talk of the neighborhood for the better part of the season & shook all the pine needles down to weave baskets for their Chinese-crested named Thing / ThenContinue Reading

Dandies moved into Peacock Lane & put a sexy leg lamp in their postage stamp bay window / The HOA was pissed but could hardly do a thing to stop gentlethems from erecting sexuality like a lacy middle finger / The chairwoman of the decoration subcommittee made salted pistachio brittleContinue Reading

When Grief moved in the only room The Dandies had available was the space under the roll top secretary that skipped generations just to live in the basement / An entire paycheck pushed the desk from one unfinished basement right into another & if it were up to Grief inContinue Reading

The best friend a person has … is one who has just died.-Colonel Aureliano BuendíaThe Dandies used unflavored sparkling water to wash shaving cream from the bay window / They used a rhinestone encrusted seltzer siphon from a forgotten vaudeville act that closed long before prohibition & whistled show tunesContinue Reading

The Dandies dream of velvet top hats & monocles dangling from golden chains with their hands stuffed in their pockets & piles of candy wrappers on their bedside tables / Pocket watches unwind themselves inside the forest of waistcoats that line their walk-in closet / The chairwoman of the decorationContinue Reading

The Dandies’ first Christmas in Peacock Lane was the year the decorations came to life / The elves were the first to turn against their homes & scale attached garages & chain linked fences / They chanted dark poetry from the wires around their mouths / Reindeer who used toContinue Reading

The Dandies bought the house from a nice goth couple who just couldn’t with Mrs. Peacock Lane / Her campaign against them also began on move-in day & they both worked so hard at keeping up their own appearances the decoration subcommittee took advantage of their missing cats to poisonContinue Reading