Mendacium1 Blavabarbae maximum erat quod fuit una atque unica regula2: uxorem novissimam aliquid quod cuperet3, dummodo illud solum libidinosumque — non figere4 pusillam clavem in pusillam seram — ne ea ageret5, agere posse.
At vero hoc fuisse modo principium, modo probationem scimus. Uxor cecidit (atque ut fabulam narraret6 haec similis mei7 vixit), sed etiamsi8 approbata esset, fuisset alia petitio, paulo9 maior vel paulo inusitatior, ac si se fingi10 — velut11 fanatica cingulorum mediam partem corporis minus minusque vellicat — sivisset, spectaculum fuisset in quo Blavabarba cum uxorum praeteritarum putrescentibus cadaveribus in manibus suis saltabat12 atque uxor novissima crescentem horrorem comprimens sorbensque ovum vomitus in pectore trementis mute sedebat.
Cum13 haec ab clave condicionibusque non refugisset, nec istum dicentem14 gradus uxoris esse graviores interpellavisset, nec stupranti15 lacrimantem contra dixisset, nec recusavisset ei suadentem ut taceret16, nec contundentem bracchia locuta esset, nec tractantem eam parem cani infantive obiurgavisset, nec postremo ululans petensque auxilium in pagum proximum per semitam ex castello cucurrisset — ita rationale videbatur illam ibi sessuram esse ac virum cadaver quartae uxoris versantem spectaturam esse17, cuius caput putre in carnis cardine18 retro recumbebat.
Uxor novissima secum reputat: per omnia te confirmari et tenacitatem amoris exerceri19.
Filia dulcis, probaris approbarisque. Vide20 quam bona fidelisque sis atque quantopere ameris21.
1 Dear Muses, be with me — I really hope I pulled this off! I wanted to reflect the restrictions and complexities of Bluebeard’s conditions throughout this composition structurally, so I often opt for hypotaxis over parataxis, using a lot of participial phrases and subordinate clauses. I’ll try to signal the syntactically sticky spots here.
2 quod fuit…regula: a substantive clause consisting of quod and the indicative can translate as ‘that’ or ‘the fact that’; introduces an indirect statement uxorem…agere posse
3 quod (ea) cuperet: relative clause of characteristic, antecedent is aliquid
4 non figere…seram: infinitive phrase in apposition with illud
5 dummodo…ne ea ageret: a negative proviso clause subordinated within the indirect statement, whee!
6 ut…narraret: a natural result clause
7 Thank god you did, Carmen Maria Machado. In the Dream House tells the story of her experience in an abusive partnership. This comp is inspired by my favorite chapter: “Dream House as Bluebeard.” Mei is the only direct mention of Machado in this chapter, although of course I believe her closing address Filia dulcis, ‘Sweet girl’ includes herself (and me and anyone else who has ever believed the lie that love needs to be earned, endured).
8 Hark, two past contrary-to-fact conditionals! (1) [pro] etiamsi approbata esset, [apo] fuisset alia petitio, ac (2) [pro] si sivisset, [apo] spectaculum fuisset. Translates ‘had…’would have’
9 ablative of degree of difference with the comparative adjectives
10 fingi, a present passive infinitive depending on sivisset, can mean to be mentally formed by instruction (ie, ‘to be trained’ or ‘taught’) or to be shaped in the physical sense, like a work of art or a statue (ie, ‘to be fashioned’ or ‘modeled’). Both meanings are at play, as Bluebeard is molding his newest wife both physically and psychologically.
11 Machado compares the newest wife’s training to that of a corset fanatic — I think about this simile all the time
12 switching to the indicative here to turn up the vividness of this vomitous scene
13 Cum haec non refugisset, nec interpellavisset, nec contra dixisset, nec recusavisset, nec locuta esset, nec obiurgavisset, nec cucurrisset are all translated causally.
14 dicentem, a present active participle modifying istum, introduces the indirect statement gradus eius esse graviores; the comparative predicate adjective graviores can be translated ‘too heavy’
15 Continue to supply substantive forms of iste (Bluebeard), smothered in contempt, with each upsetting present active participle stupranti, suadentem, contundentem, tractantem.
16 ut taceret: indirect command dependent on (istum) suadentem
17 sessuram esse and spectaturam esse are both future active infinitives depending on videbatur rationale, ‘it seemed logical that she would…’
18 in carnis cardine, ‘on a hinge of flesh’ — so gruesome! Fun distinction I learned: caro strictly translates to ‘meat,’ whereas viscus denotes ‘living flesh.’ So definitely gotta use caro here.
19 Technically this should probably be direct speech, but I chose an indirect statement because I wanted her reasoning to feel more rehearsed, conditioned per fn. 10.
20 Vide, ‘Look’ introduces two indirect questions.
21 May I suggest closing this reading with a listen to Kendrick Lamar’s Crown. Sweet girl, love gon’ get you killed.
Glossary
ago, -ere, egi, actus, to do
approbor, -ari, -atus, to pass the test
Blavabarba, -ae, m. Bluebeard
cadaver, -eris, n. corpse
cado, -ere, cecidi, casus, to fail
canis, -is, mf. dog
cardo, -inis, m. hinge
cingulum, -i, n. corset, girdle, chastity belt
clavis, -is, f. key
comprimo, -ere, -pressi, -pressus, to suppress
confirmo (1), to strengthen
contra dicere, to protest against (c. dat)
contundo, -ere, -tudi, -tusus, to bruise
cresco, -ere, crevi, cretus, to grow, increase
curro, -ere, cucurri, cursus, to run, fly, hasten
etiamsi, conj. even if
exerceo, -ēre, -ui, -itus, to train, cultivate, practice
fidelis, -e, loyal, faithful
figo, -ere, fixi, fixus, to fix, stick
gradus, -us, m. step
interpello (1), to interrupt
inusitatus, -a, -um, strange, uncommon, unusual
lacrimo (1), to weep, cry
libidinosus, -a, -um, arbitrary
loquor, loqui, locutus sum, to mention, speak of
media pars corporis, waist
mendacium, -i, n. lie
minus, adv. smaller
modo, adv. just, only, merely
obiurgo (1), to scold, rebuke
pagus, -i, m. village
par, paris, equal, like (c. dat)
pectus, pectoris, n. breast
peto, -ere, -ivi, -itus, to plead (for)
praeteritus, -am -um, past, prior
probo (1), to test
pusillus, -a, -um, tiny, insignificant
puter, -tris, -tre, decaying, rotting
quantopere, adv. how much, with how great effort
recumbo, -ere, -cubui, to loll
recuso (1), to decline, refuse
reputo (1), to reflect upon, reason
salto (1), to dance
sedeo, -ēre, sedi, sessus, to sit
semita, -ae, f. path
sera, -ae, f. lock
sino, -ere, sivi, situs, to allow, let
sorbeo, -ēre, -ui, to swallow, bear
stupro (1), to defile, rape
suadeo, -ēre, -si, -sus, to urge, persuade (c. dat)
taceo, -ēre, -cui, -citus, to be silent, shut up
tracto (1), to treat
ululo (1), to wail, scream, shriek
uxor, uxoris, f. wife
-ve, conj. (enclitic) or
vellico (1), to pinch
velut, adv. just as
verso (1), to spin, whirl about
Heather is a Latin teacher turned translator. She has a BA in Classics from Reed College, where she developed a passion for prose composition and mythological women. She lives in Central Oregon with her husband Andy and their senior poodle Mo. She loves watching scary movies and curates feel-good horror sets at happyspookies.substack.com.